Your own definition of humor is probably as good and exact as any other. At an International Conference on Humor one lecturer said that there was no single definition of humor. The indeed the array of definitions seemed endless, apparently shaped by any individual.
This dismayed a college student in the audience who had collected over 200 different definitions, seeking to uncover an academic definition.
Our sense of humor stands poised, ready to reward us with the experiences of humor we need. Even so, many people have a difficult time turning it loose.
A common reason is usual initial thoughts we have about humor. Humor is supposed to give us big laughs. But this just isn’t so! The great American humorist Will Rogers said, “I don’t like the jokes that gets the biggest laugh, as they are generally as broad as a house and require no thought at all. I liked one where, if you are with a friend, and hear it it makes you think and you nudge your friend and say, “He’s right about that.’ I would rather have you do that than to have you laugh – and then forget the next minute what it was you laughed at.”
What is profound in these words is that a nation has remembered what Will Rogers said,and still nudge one another because his thoughts touch our living today.
Quite a contrast to the usual entertaining comics of today.; There goal is the laugh! “Laugh lines, not smile lines,” they demand of their writers. Good comics get the big laughs. But, as Rogers said, few people remember what they laughed at.
Thomas Carlyle, years before Rogers, had much the same thought, “True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart…it issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.”
Laughter is important. It has its own part to play in humor, but it is by no means the whole of it.
There’s good news in this. Awareness of this face can increase the mileage we get from our sense of humor. Now we can take off the burden of the big laugh and give our sense of humor more freedom to work. With this expectation gone, you can appreciate it in those quiet moments. Like the time you stood in front of the mirror dressing in your best with the intent of making that all-important impression on someone. Then came the thought, “Hey! Who’s kidding whom? No matter what the trappings, your are still just plain you.”
You smiled, knowing it was true. Found out by your sense of humor, your pretense was unmasked. You went on dressing, a little more relaxed about who you were and the farce you were engaged in.
This is the kind of humor that makes it possible for your to smile at the difficult conditions of life, smile with enjoyment and acceptance. It is the humor Rogers and Carlyle spoke of, the humor that leads to the richer life. But how does one get the sense of humor active and going?
Get your goal straight. Your sense of humor is, first of all, for your own use and only secondly for others. Don’t get confused thinking that you’ve got to communicate the humor you’ve discovered. It’s easy to get mixed up here. Not telling a good story, of having a rapier-like wit is not an indictment of your sense of humor. Discovering humor and communicating it are two different experiences. You can benefit from your discovery without any verbal communication at all. Sensing it for yourself is your first goal.
Discovering humor is one thing. Communicating it to others is another. In that you are strictly on your own.
© 2006 Cy Eberhart